U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
