so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
being pregnant is like rehab
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
