She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
