I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
