Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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