My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
