It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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