Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
