do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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