I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
