Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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