Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
