why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
