lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
