saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
