Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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