His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
