pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
