Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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