He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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