Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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