How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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