we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
