i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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