Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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