Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
