you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
