Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
