I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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