I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
