look no pants
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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