it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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