Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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