I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
