They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
