i was rollin on her like bob the builder
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
