I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
