I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
