he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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