I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize