Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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