We won't sleep together?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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