we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
did i just pee glitter
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