I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
