1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize