Little spoons don't ask big questions
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize