Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
