Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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