I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
