so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
