maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
