i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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