She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
a search helicopter?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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