K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I enjoy the company of your penis
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