is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
