they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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