I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
