Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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