"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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