her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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