I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
