every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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