Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
