My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
